We’re changing.. and that’s scary

Hey everyone!!! And welcome back! I know it’s been a really looooong time since I posted or (even written) a blog post. But before getting into this post, I’d like to say that there’s a really serious reason behind me disappearing from the blogosphere. And that reason is what this blog is talking about. I hope you guys can stay up till the end of this blog so you could understand me a lot more better.

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Being a 15-year-old girl, a high school student and a girl who can understand and feel everything around her. I have many stuffs spinning in my head, and it’s hard to deal with every single one. Day by day, I’ve realized that I’m not the same anymore cause obviously we change, all of us do, sooner or later. I’ve realized that I don’t have enough time to think about what’s bothering me. Not just that, I don’t even have enough time to do my homeworks, chores and even blogs. I tried to get back to blogging from a long, long time, trust me. But, there were many errors going on in wordpress that stopped me from uploading my blog posts and that annoyed me. Like, literally imagine writing a blog for days and when you try to upload it, it gets deleted immediately. Despite that, I tried to be active around here, so people won’t think I’m dead. But sometimes, it seems that there’s something that stops me from staying around the blogosphere. I tried to stick around all the time but I can’t. Not just blogosphere, I can’t be active in my other social media accounts, it’s like I can’t stand them anymore. Let’s say, when I open Instagram, I get bored easily and I don’t blame the posts in my feed. It’s like I don’t have patience anymore to like every pic, to comment, to read long captions. The same thing applies for twitter. Lately, I’ve been sticking around Pinterest. I find everything that might brighten my mood and makes me happier, like, quotes, jokes and many other stuffs I’ve been saving to my boards over there. Anyways, I’ve had many mood swings lately and believe me it’s not in my hands to control it. I get tired and bored quickly plus I often find myself getting away from people. Not because I hate them, but because I don’t feel like being around crowds or even talking to anyone. I found myself wanting to alone for a little while. I found myself staying alone in my room with earphones on, I’ll either be writing something or drawing to keep myself away from the world’s noises. I keep pushing people away from me and you might think it’s rude from my side but they understand me and I appreciate them. I don’t wanna say I’m depressed or something, cause I know very well that I’m not and depression is so much different than being sad. That’s one main point. So, I’ve finally came to a conclusion that maybe, just maybe, I’ve been changing and that’s why I started looking at the world in a different way, maybe a better way. But maybe what made me dislike that change was because I was.. scared. I don’t know what’s scary in it but we still get scared.

I know very well that I’m not the only who went through this change but I don’t know how did people reacted when their views and mindset of the world changed. I found myself wanting to stay in isolation, all by myself, listening to my own voice. But let me tell you how comforting that was. Being alone, thinking and dealing with what’s bothering you, listening to your thoughts without anyone interrupting you. That was nice for sometime.

And I think that’s all I’ve got to say. Thank you for reading this post and keeping up with posts. It means a lot to me to find people who wants to listen to my rants. I’ll be back to my regular posting again. Besides, winter is coming and I’m looking forward to my bucket list and the posts that might come up.

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That’s all for now! Don’t forget to keep up with my coming blog posts. Much love!!

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9 thoughts on “We’re changing.. and that’s scary

  1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts… WordPress is changing also so that may be some of your issues… in the past when I blogged on Yahoo 360 had similar issues from time to time… I use publisher to write my blogpost and when I am ready, I copy and paste on WordPress…

    If one is living life, then change will happen (and necessary) because life is always changing.. one has to follow ones dream..“Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird, that cannot fly.” Langston Hughes … sometimes one needs to stop the world and get off and be alone for a time to regroup… I meditate every day… 🙂

    “For time and the world do not stand still. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future.” John F. Kennedy

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally relate to needing that time alone for self-reflection, especially when you sense change within yourself. Change is scary – I mean it’s the unknown/unfamiliar so of course it is. My advice– take it slow and don’t pressure yourself. And remember – change, no matter good or bad – is good. Because it always leads to something positive in the end and it makes you the person you are. Without development, life would be pretty damn boring. This was such an honest and raw post, I admire you for putting your feelings out there like that.

    Liked by 1 person

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